Scary

I’m scared. I’m only 14 but I know I want to be a mother, I want to have a family. Yet, I don’t want to risk not being good enough . I don’t want to risk being an awful mom due to my current life style. I still haven’t fully confronted my feelings dealing with the abuse. I’m scared that I’m gonna be one of those moms that are passed out non stop and always have a drink in their hand. I’m already getting there. I hate feeling, hate being in control, love being numb. No I don't drink more than a few sips of Pina Coladas, but it's  the opposite of what you would expect from an abuse victim.

Ronel is reading ‘saucey’fanfic, it’s making me laugh cause this is not the type of person who you would expect to be reading something like this. (Mrs. Woodall if you read this Ronel says he is sorry for putting that non innocent image of him in your head, I tried to stop him but its to funny) .I can’t even focus on my crushing fear of letting down my unborn childre when I have my grandma getting mad at us for laughing to loud and Ronel trying to get through a paragraph of fanfic without me making a reference from The Office. For real this time: goodnight❤️